Murdoch vs. Spastics

Sun and McMuff

Image by Steve-h via FlickrWOW! I woke up to a sunny day, my little hamster McMuffin digging around in his house .. and I feel relaxed. Like all is well. This doesn't happen too often so I am really enjoying it. Gonna grab my camera and take a walk.

ALWAYS bring your camera when you go out. You might just capture an awesome moment.

Let it fly

Why don't you stop it? (Being anxious annoys people)

Image via WikipediaIs it annoying and frustrating that I can't just pull myself together and do something that terrifies me so much? Absolutely. It seems so simple, you see. And what are they gonna do? Hurt me? Laugh at me? Hardly. I have been on this planet for many years now and I have never met anyone who intentionally set out to abuse me for laughs.

Yet I am scared. I am one of the thousands (or is it millions) of people who suffer from social anxiety. I sometimes hear other people's voices going 'It's your own fault', 'You can just stop it whenever you want', 'It's up to you to sort it out, it's not my problem' and so on. Of course they're not afraid of giving the 'wow you're pathetic' look or shaking their heads at me (or anyone else with this condition). The head-shaking and then 'Oh please, get over it' look all add up to this: YOU need to stop this, YOU are being ridiculous, YOU are annoying me and making OTHER PEOPLE uncomfortable. YOU are a problem.

'When are you going to stop this self abuse? When are you going to become normal? When are you going to stop ruining MY life with this isolation and nonsense'?

I don't know.  I have not been dipped in anything special. I don't ask for the world to revolve around me.
Being accepted is what I need the most, not being blamed or accused or stared at . . . because being accepted is the most important thing in the world to me. Without it I have no chance of ever feeling like a human being.

What about you? You ever feel like your anxiety (and that means you in general, I guess) is a pain to be around and an inconvenience?

Related articles

• Getting my head on straight.. continued.. (recoveringfromsocialanxiety.wordpress.com)
• Living a virtual life (simplymelme.com)
• How long do anxiety symptoms last (wiki.answers.com)
• The Anxiety of Living with Anxiety (psychologytoday.com)

I must bake bread